How we respond to rejection matters. Here are three negative ways.
1. Unforgivness – lock one away, holding an IOU, punishment requirements, desired retribution against a person for something that they did / said / etc
And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Mat 18:21-35 ESV)
2. Bitterness – holding unforgivness that manifests itself in evil actions against an individual – comes from word meaning “root of a vine”
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; (Heb 12:15 ESV)
3. Judgement: An eternal pronouncement on the state of an individual before God – of their actions, perceived motivations etc. (condemnation vs. identifying) To avenge, conclude, condemn, damn, decree, determine, esteem, judge, go to (sue at the) law, ordain, call in question, sentence to, ordain sentence, to establish thought about.
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”(Luk 6:37-38 ESV)
Scripture is clear about the ramifications of this behavior
If We Don’t / If We do
- When we forgive it shows we understand God’s Grace (Matthew 6:15; John 14:24; John 15:12)
- Unforgiveness opens us up to demonic oppression (Matthew 18:23-35)
- Unforgiveness can block God from answering our prayers (Matthew 7:7, 12; Mark 11:24, 25; John 15:5, 10)
- Bitterness can be transferred and cause others to walk in bondage. (Hebrews 12:15)
- Unforgiveness can give Satan an advantage (2 Corinthians 2:10-11)
- Unforgiveness invites spiritual curses (Deut 27:26). Curses can cause mental and emotional problems (Deut 28:28), physical problems (Deut 28:35, 60, 61), financial problems (Deut 28:17, 38, 43), divorce and unfaithful spouse (Deut 28:30, 56), emotional stress (Deut 28:34), childlessness (Lev 20:21), and those curses can be handed down to your future generations (Exodus 20:5).
How Do We Know Where We Are At?
There are stages of forgiveness. The litmus test for forgiveness is to ask ourselves what our sincerest desire is for those who have injured us.
From faith to compassion
- Faith: God has said it is a good idea – “God help me to forgive”
- Hope: I want to forgive in emotions – “God, you deal with the person”
- Phileo Love: From the heart. I will even give to the person – “God, I release every IOU. How can I bless the person?”
- Agape Love: I will die for the person (like Christ on the cross) – “God, forgive them – how can I give them your love for me?”
How To Deal With It? Mt. 18
1. Acknowledge an injury has occurred (write a list) – Mt 18
- do not ignore that you have been sinned against…
2. Acknowledge the tormenters (the king delivers you to tormenters)
- but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Mat 6:15 ESV)
3. Release the person from all penalties –
Prayer of forgiveness and release
Thank you for your forgiveness for my sin. I acknowledge that _____ has sinned against me by ______. I confess that it has led to these effects in my life: _______. Today, I choose forgive _______ and release ______ from any obligation of having to pay for what they did to me. I take the chains that I have shackled them in and the jail cell I have kept them in – open up the jail cell, untie them, throw out the key, rip up the IOU and turn into your embrace. I receive healing from you, Jesus, for this injury. Pour your love into my emotions. I renounce all demonic oppression and effects in this area of my life as a result of this unforgiveness and declare Christ’s finished work on the cross. Thank you for doing it. I receive _____ (hear from the Holy Spirit)
4. Receive an exchange of healing
- 1. Find a place of peace and quiet: A place without distraction and a place without interference. Turn off all phones.
- 2. Declare your need: (Psalm 142)
- 3. Open self to memory (1 John 1)
- tell Jesus
- see Jesus
- receive the truth from Jesus
- thank Jesus